Episode II: Rightsizing

Scene: The cash register/main entrance at Digital Depot. CARA is standing behind the greeter's podium welcoming customers to the store. THEO is nearby.

CARA: "Hi, welcome to Digital Depot…" [To entering customer]

[CURTIS walks up to them looking glum]

CARA: "What's up? You're looking bummed."

CURTIS: "Yeah. We just had a meeting of all the team leaders. Corporate is laying people off and we're supposed to figure out who on our teams get the ax."

THEO: "Whoa, that sucks. Who's it gonna be?"

CARA: [To entering customer] "Hi, welcome to Digital Depot…"

CURTIS: "Not sure yet. I know that everyone in management is staying. The plan is to cut full timers in 'expendable' positions."

THEO: "Why do I get the feeling that my [Cut to a scene of the THEO with a nametag labeled "Expendable" and show an ax creep in next to him] name tag ought to say "Hi! My Name is Expendable"?"

CURTIS: "I don't think that it's a huge thing to worry about. You're smart [light bulb and 'ding!' sound effects over THEO's head], you work hard [shiny sparkle and 'ding!' sound over THEO] and people here really like you." [little hearts flying around THEO]

CARA: [random fly-ins -  Halo fx, Jack White and a green recycle bin] "And you're our resident expert on Halo 3, how to score White Stripes tickets, and where to recycle almost anything. [Jack White gets blasted by Halo 3 fighter and lands in recycle bin] If they lay you off, the entire Digital Depot civilization will collapse.

THEO: "Well… it's a short time problem for me. I'm gonna finish up my associates degree and then transfer to a university. I'm thinking that teaching might be the way to go. [Theo teaching in front of a classroom with Stewie, Chuck Norris, Aquateen Hunger Force milkshake, fries and meatball] I could help bring my unique perspective and life experiences to a whole new generation of learners!

CARA: [Kidding him] "I'm sure parents will be thrilled."

THEO: "You know it." [Fantasy thought bubble of Theo up on stage getting Teacher of the Year Award. Then it pops.]

CURTIS: "I don't think you'll get laid off. And besides, you've already got a plan for moving up and out, I've been looking into a Community College near my place and I think you're right – it's the way to go."

CARA: [To entering customer] "Hi, welcome to Digital Depot…"] [to CURTIS] "I dunno guys. This is making me the odd girl out. I've always wanted to take my drawing and design skills to the next level. Just having my stuff on flyers around the store isn't really enough, you know?" [poorly rendered copies of famous art being used for in-store advertisements: Da Vinci's Mona Lisa, Edvard Munch's "The Scream," Andy Warhol soup can]

THEO: "I'm telling you, check out a community or a technical college. You'll be stoked at what they offer… I gotta go… boxes to unload." [Walks off..]

CURTIS: [Looking off camera] "Whoa. Trouble on register 7 [Cut to a shot of register 7 with Chuck Norris and Stewie from Family Guy squaring off with Chuck holding AXE body spray] … I'm out." [Walks off…]

CARA: [To herself] "Yeah… I think that going back to school might be the smart choice." [To entering customer] "Hi, welcome to Digital Depot…"

[characters pass by: customers, Charlie the Unicorn, Theo, Stewie chasing Chuck Norris with the same ax that was threatening Theo, Ninjas, Jack White. Fade out]

[fade out]